I am the father of a 10-year-old transgender son. I figured it was just a matter of time before this topic came up, so I have kept my Trans Dad hat ready.
Can humans learn to value the diversity that is probably our greatest strength as a social species before we create our own demise? I hope so! All toddlers I’ve been privileged to teach have loved sequins, sparkles, tutus, and firefighter hats, and all those young humans ought to be able to explore every aspect of themselves without judgment. And having kind and attentive teachers who aren’t cis gives them additional positive role models to look up to.
That said, the parents who are using they/them pronouns for their young child might be giving them a respite from conforming to gender rules. The struggles of a transgender boy to access the appropriate bathroom don’t yet resonate for those who are still sitting side by side in an all-gender bathroom. Explaining to a toddler working at toileting that some boys have vaginas and some girls have penises is not something they are focused on––learning how to manage one’s own plumbing to avoid making a mess is challenging enough. Sometimes our gender-sensitivity training does make me want to roll my eyes. I’m working on switching to using folks as a sign of solidarity, though. I’m often known to use the term guys in mixed-gender settings, and I think that guys (in the plural sense only) is morphing into something useful and inclusive.
I work with young children at a preschool that works very hard at being inclusive of all genders. Sally describes her experiences in early-childhood education: It’s okay to just be who you are you probably are not born the wrong gender. But with the very loud voices that the activists of today’s world have, my biggest concern is that we are not letting men and women, boys and girls, just BE, just be who they are. It’s okay to be a boyish kind of girl or a girlish kind of boy. Will we lose the Mikhail Baryshnikovs of the world? Will we lose the Billie Jean Kings of the world? The list of such people could go on and on. I am concerned that a boy who enjoys ballet might be told, in the same way, that he is probably a girl. Second, I am concerned that a female child who is a “tomboy” is perhaps being told by activists (in schools or online) that she is probably a boy. First, as an older woman who has lived both sides of before and after Title IX, to have biological men competing in women’s sports is the very definition of unfair. My only problems with the current push, if you will, are twofold.
Any American should agree with your quotation “Trans people have rights to liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and equality under the law, same as anyone else, and ought to be treated with respect and dignity.” And despite social-media storms, most of them do.
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